Lost

Sometimes I just feel lost. I am in this bubble, separated from the rest of the world. On the outside I'm this bubbly, crazy girl who just wants to enjoy life. But there are so many things we don't show on the outside. Our daily battles between the good and bad, all the choices we have to make and the loneliness we feel. We only let a few people in on the inside and we are so scared someone will take advantages of that.

I often feel like I'm on a road, with two directions to choose from. And I have absolutely no idea what path to follow. I wish had a crystal ball I could look into which would show me the results of the different paths I could choose. But I guess that's what life is about. Not knowing, taking chances and hopefully it turn out ok. I just wish it wasn't so god damn hard! I have felt for a while that I need to make a decision soon regarding my future. Should I stay or should I go, type thing. There are always benefits and consequences. There will always be people left hurt and you can't please everyone. But what should you do if you're not sure how to please yourself even? Some people are constantly on the move and might not have time to stop and consider their options. It is sometimes easier for others to spot your possibilities and options, just like your friends might find it easier to call a dodgy boyfriend out. When you are in the middle of something it is hard to look at it from a objective point of view. I can tell I'm moving further and further away from my original subject here.

Does life throw you life lines, hoping you will understand and grab one or is life purely about coincidence? I would like to think there is a meaning with it all.

I need to come to a decision but there are so many things that influence our choices that sometimes the possibilities and options might be a bit overwhelming.