Life has no smooth road for any of us; and in the bracing atmosphere of a high aim the very roughness stimulates the climber to steadier steps, till the legend, over steep ways to the stars, fulfills itself

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Sorry for not posting for so long. I'm at this really weird personal place at the moment. A bit unsure how I got here and just doing my best at the moment to try figuring out how to move forward from here. Feels like I'm heading towards becoming one of those people who's entire sitting room is covered in self-help books. I'm trying to do it all on my own but sometimes life just unexpectedly hits you in the face and it can seem hard to know what to do next. I'm just trying to take one day at a time. Due to personal issues I have had to revalue my status and position in life and right now everything, well... kinda sucks!

I am currently dwelling between staying in this miserable mode or fight against it and start fresh. It's easy being pessimistic and sad, it's just a constant state of helplessness and it feels like nothing can be done about it. Or you fight back, struggle for some time and hopefully in the end succeed in overcoming the current problems. Either way I know whatever path I choose to follow will be life changing in many ways.

At the moment I'm sort of relying on spiritual words of wisdom and stories about people who's gone through similar experiences. Sometimes I just wish there was a result key. A life result key. But I guess life would seem pretty pointless then. At least give me a fairy godmother or something, for Pete's sake!

Anyway, not knowing what life will look like in 6 months (or even 1 month) time is kinda scary. Not sure what this place here will look like in the nearby future. There are just too many things occupying my mind at the moment.

My current mood is like a roller coaster, one minute I think things will hopefully turn out ok in the end, the next I can't see the point with anything. Oh well, I guess this is what life is all about. It wouldn't hit you with anything it knows you can't handle. And in the ned you will come out of it a stronger person. Sometimes it's just hard having to be so brave though.

We'll see what happens.

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